|
 Aged beyond my years
by Meg'n
I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point my 27-year-old body got taken over by the soul of a 60-year-old.
It started to become apparent in the little things... The time I stopped the 6-year-old running down the street in 10 degree weather and asked him where his coat was. My inability to get less than 4 hours of sleep and still be coherent the next day. My general dislike of nightclubs.
Certainly I always feared I'd turn into my mother. What happened, though, might possibly be worse. I turned into both my mother AND my father. At the same time.
It dawned slowly. First came the phrases: "If that's the worst thing that ever happens to you, you'll be darn lucky!"; "Do as I say, not as I do."; "Enjoy it this year, because after that parking lot, we're not coming back next year."
Then came the rising at 7 a.m. The heavily colloquial chats with new neighbors. The annoyance at unwashed dishes.
And finally, realization. It's all Dave Anderson's fault, really. In all innocence he said, "You know, you must be the only two Americans under the age of 55 to drive Buicks."
I haven't given up the fight yet, though. When my father suggested a minivan he'd found as a new car, I turned it down. I made it a point to skip into work today. And someday soon, I'm going to get silly drunk at a Regime Rally.
Now if you'll excuse me, my cross-stitch and recliner call.
| 
