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 Here we go again (Ruinous Bets part III)
by Patrick Clapp
Ok. Technically I am 1 for 3. I completed my first novel in January of 2005. January instead of November because it made sense as a student. Honestly...who the hell picks November? Every other time I have attempted a novel in November, I have not been up to the task.
November 2005...I bumped to January 2006 and failed (with a terrible TERRIBLE idea for a book). I think that one was called "Conversations with Women". I have no idea what possessed me to think that writing an angsty diatribe against all of the failed relationships in my life would be somehow cathartic. About ten days in my roommate and I decided that, since we hadn't told anyone what we were doing this time, we could 'push' into February. I think that lasted another day. By then we were finding very good "Core" reasons not to write...let's just say our favorite color that winter was purple.
November 2006...having failed so spectacularly in January I decided to achieve success in November. In fact, I believe my exact statement, written in a flurry of blurry typing and fevered dreams of hitting my goal, was "I will success in November!" Now I wear that statement like a hat. The kind of hat you throw at things and leave stuffed in the couch for weeks at a time. That month was a spectacular failure. I think the working title was ... hmmm ... I can't remember. The files are all labelled by date and the folder is just named 'book'. "Voyage to Mars" or something suitable dreadful. It was depressing. I failed in five days. I think the second night was just me pulling information off of the wikipedia on Venus and secretly calling it a word count. Disgraceful.
But this year...oh wow...this year it is all going to be different. This year I will success in November! I have friends who are going to try as well. And I have an interesting idea that has held my attention for more than a month. Of course, there are hurdles. For example, I am travelling for the first three weekends (why November? why?!). I'll be on the road on an eight hour drive on Day 1. Not the best way to start. I do not want to be 8,000 words in the hole come Monday the 4th. One plan: bring a tape recorder. It worked in the past.
So, here we go again. It is that time of year. The bets are coming in. The contract is heading out. Here it is, in all of it's guilt inducing awesomeness...dammit. November is going to be a bitch:
Form: #A30/31/50K
The Month-long Novelist Agreement and Statement of Understanding
I hereby pledge my intent to write a 50,000 word novel in one month's time. By invoking an absurd, month-long deadline on such a enormous undertaking. I understand that notions of "craft." "brilliance." and "competency" are to be chucked right out the window, where they will remain, ignored, until they are retrieved for the editing process. I understand that I am a talented person, capable of heroic acts of creativity, and I will give myself enough time over the course of the next month to allow my innate gifts to come to the surface, unmolested by self-doubt, self-criticism, and other acts of self-bullying.
During the month ahead, I realize I will produce clunky, dialogue, clichéd characters, and deeply flawed plots. I agree that all of these things will be left in my rough draft, to be corrected and/or excised at a later point. I understand my right to withhold my manuscript from all readers until I deem it completed. I also acknowledge my right as author to substantially inflate both the quality of the rough draft and the rigors of the writing proves should such inflation prove useful in garnering me respect and attention, or freedom from participation in onerous household chores.
I acknowledge that the month-long, 50-000 word deadline I set for myself is absolute and unchangeable, and that any failure to meet the deadline, or any effort on my part to move the deadline once the adventure has begun, will invite well-deserved mockery from friends and family. I also acknowledge that, upon successful completion of the stated noveling objective, I am entitled to a period of gleeful celebration and revelry, the duration and intensity of which may preclude me from participating fully in workplace activities for days, if not weeks, afterward.
Signed - Patrick Clapp
Date - October 31st, 2007
Novel Start Date - November 1, 2007
Novel Deadline - November 30, 2007
Novel Completion Date - November 30, 2007
(In this section I might, MIGHT, mind you, record some sort of word count as I get rolling)
Update: 50,405. I would have written more, but ending on a palindrome seems fitting.
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